you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
