Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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