My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
its not stalking. its research.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
