butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
