Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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