party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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