We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
