So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
