Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
