Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation

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(314): View more from Missouri

i don't want you to think of me as your TA

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(678): View more from Georgia

I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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(702): View more from Nevada

So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...

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(510): View more from California

I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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(307): View more from Wyoming

They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.

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(817): View more from Texas

When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?

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(408): View more from California

I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina

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