party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
