You work out of a Hotel?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
