One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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