he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
