He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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