threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize