hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
