the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
