some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
