I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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