I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize