Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
