Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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