So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
