But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
