America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
