Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
