i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
