needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
