I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
