Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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