i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
