Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
