AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize