Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
