Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
