Your tits are I can't wait for
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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