I need help removing her.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
love makes seman taste better
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
