he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
