i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
