What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
