After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
