Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
