i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
