I must be too annoying 4 u.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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