I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
