Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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