he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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