i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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