there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
