You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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