Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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