I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
