please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
