i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
