I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
