I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
