I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize