i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
