nut hugger
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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