Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
