I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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