how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
They have beer where we have blood.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize