I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
