He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
