My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No stitches, just platelets and will power
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
