Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize