And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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