my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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