White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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