is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
