If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
