it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize