Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
