True but thats because hes a fetus.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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