I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
